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Showing posts from 2015

Shhhhhhh....It's Quiet Time

I was blessed with the "gift of gab". My mom says I started speaking at a very early age and have never stopped. I could talk to a brick wall regardless if it answers me back or not....literally, I kid you not. The times I do get quiet I find it amusing when others question me as to what is wrong. Silence is not one of my better qualities.
 But I am finding  the older I get the more I enjoy my quiet time.( For those who know me, you may continue with your laughter.)

Several years ago when my daddy God led me to start blogging, He told me there will be those He wanted to reach through my life stories.  My gift of gab became a gift  of written words for many all over the world to read and realize they are not alone in the struggles of life. Blogging became a ministry of my heart; a platform of God for all to see  His victories in  my downfalls.  A place of transparency, honesty and a unconditional love filled with encouragement, grace and mercy.

 Not only do I have the gift o…

Emotions and Wisdom

A few days ago I was chatting with a precious friend , sister in Christ and one of my amazing pray partners. I love our talks, our time to come together as women and share our secret places.  We seem to continuously be on the same page in our lives, but sometimes one of us is  a half a step ahead of the other and that's a good thing; good that one of us has already made it through a portion of the season we currently walk and are able to give a testimony of hope and grace.

We discussed our emotions and how  easily it is to fall within them and not hear the voice of our daddy God.   There are times I make the dreadful mistake of speaking before seeking or acting on my own emotions before heeding His voice and direction.  I justify my choices by the love I hold in my heart. Sadly there are times my hearts emotions will cause more harm than good.

I am re-learning and more in depth  the enemy knows the sensitivity of my heart and will use it to trip me up. However, the positive which…

Seeds Of The Heart

As a child I can remember planting tiny seeds in a cup of soil and waiting anxiously for the first sigh of life to sprout forth. I would water and nurture my tiny seed holding on to the belief of something magical appearing at any moment.
After a week or so a very tiny growth of green would emerge from the dark spoil adding to my excitement that my seed would be a thriving bloom of beauty.
The hope of a child is a pure act of love;  a love that holds on to the beauty of life rather than sees the impossibility of the world. A humbling heart that anchors to the promise instead of disbelief.

As I grew older I no longer planted seeds in a cup but I did and still do try my best to plant seeds of love and hope in the cracks of  hearts that are broken, abandoned or bruised. It can be hard to wait for the seeds which are planted to grow. It can become a painful process when watching someone I love struggle to break through the dark soil of the world. If I over water my seed, it will drown. I…

Knowing God Is......

 Faithful, Merciful, Powerful, Gracious, Love, Aware Of My Struggles, , Ready to Forgive, Willing to Help, and The One Who Loves Me. 

I am so glad God is God and I am not. I have a hard enough time managing my own little world sometimes much less the world of others. I am an imperfect woman, who falls in this life regardless how many times I try my best to be perfect. Perfect in my choices? No as I've made my fair share of wrong ones. Perfect in showing grace to all ?  Honestly here recently that has been a struggle in my life but I am walking through it with in baby steps.  Perfect in my actions towards others who hurt me? Not really sure how that on is going , but I am striving to do better and show the unconditional love of Christ, as He always shows me. 
The older I get the more I see myself trying to NOT make mistakes. I am determined with everything inside of me to be all I have been created to be, and what I am learning time and time again, I am not perfect nor will I ever…

My One Word For 2016

It's that time again.
Another year coming to a close and with that my new word for the new year has been whispered to my heart.

I began asking and praying what my word would be several weeks ago. I had a few tumbling through my mind but they just did not seem to take root in my heart.
 As I prayed I promised God I would wait for his voice to give me the one He wanted, not one I thought was fitting.
There are times in my anticipation and excitement  I tend to walk ahead and not wait on His instruction or timing.
But  wait I did  and in doing so, I hear Him speak......

" Declare"
" Declare my words over your life and those you love."Declare my promises I have made to you and watch them unfold." 
"Declare life where darkness resides and see my light break forth. "
"Declare who you are in me and feel my love raise you up above all that has tried to keep you down."

God's word teaches us there is life and death in our tongues.

Proverbs 18:21

Finding Greatness In My Life

Worldly greatness is defined in society by our bank accounts, our job titles, our homes and in many venues our social status.  The world deems the quality of success from who we know to what we do in life.  Everyone wants to feel important at one time or another; to have a sense of accomplishment, a goal met, or a dream birthed into reality, However I am finding as I get older what true greatness has become in  my life.  I believe in growing and bettering ourselves in life. I believe in prosperity and pursuing dreams and goals. But I do not define my greatness in things acquired of this world.  I am finding my greatness in the lives of those I love and those who love me. 
As a woman and a mom watching my oldest daughter accomplish her dreams with determination and dedication with the knowledge she will go farther in life than I ever have or imagined.... That is a greatness.  To be able to see my youngest daughter become a mom at a early age, never giving up and striving to make a bet…

To OverCome

Early this week I was lead to read Psalm 18.  I read and reread, highlighted certain verses and prayed for my eyes to be open as to what my daddy God wanted me to see.  Today  verse 17 popped out like neon blinking arrow sign.
Psalm 18:17 He delivered me from my strong enemy. 
" Ok Lord", I tell him, " What is my current enemy?"  I know  we all have one enemy who prowls like a roaring lion to destroy us all, however it's his little daily snares that sneak in ever so quietly that I tend to to miss on occasion.
Today my "strong" enemy is revealed. The one who has been assigned to take me down emotionally.   "Rejection." I began to read the verse again and this time instead of the word "enemy" I replace it with "rejection."  " He delivered me from my strong rejection."
I have battled with rejection my entire life it seems, but then again who hasn't? We all have been rejected in some form or another.   It is a pai…

It's Your Journey

Journey ; An act of traveling from one place to another.
In the physical aspect  a journey can come in the form of a new job, a new home, making a trip to the local grocery store, or a much needed vacation.  It can even be as simple as walking to the mail box. 
A journey can also be taken to reach an emotional destination.  A place of healing, forgiveness, a place of trust and wholeness.  A place of elated happiness and an abundance of pure joy.   But what happens when it seems like it is taking forever to complete a specific journey? 
 Many times in my own life I have had others speak into my journey.  They meant well, however they would unknowingly put a time frame on it; expressing their views when they believed I should have reached my emotional destination.  I had to learn to not allow others to define my time frame in re finding myself, after all it's not their journey, but to heed good advice and apply when needed.  And then there were those times I, myself,  put a time fr…

Packing Up Anger

Making a decision that will effect the course of life is not always easy. It can be scary filled with uncertainties, plenty of "what ifs " and the dreaded anxiety of change.    
There was a time I had made a decision I believed to be good.  After several months of much consideration and many conversations I finally made the huge leap that I was moving in the right direction. The pros at that point outweighed the cons or so I thought. Everything was falling into place with ease and I had no misconceptions or second thoughts. I saw the good and was walking from a place of trust. Sadly it was misplaced trust........
When it all came crashing in on me. I can honestly say I did not see my newly foundation start to crack and crumble. I did not see the writing on the wall. I never saw the failure of my choice getting ready to explode in my face. But explode it did.( Maybe I wasn't willing to see it and probably chose to ignore the red flags.)
Once it did I went into survivor m…

In The Midst Of Life There Are Blessings

Life can be wonderfully messy, overwhelmingly challenging and unpredictably joyous.  It can knock the breath out of us when we least expect it and it can raise us up to the highest of highs.  After all that is life right?  A life long journey of valleys and mountain tops. 
It is easy to be thankful and see our blessings when life is all peachy;When the sun is continuously shining and joy is blissfully raining in abundance.  It is when the crazy messiness , the over whelming stress , the unpredictability of  what is looming on the horizon and fear of the unknown that can leave a person blinded to see past the trials and tribulations and recognize the blessing in the midst. 
There is always blessings in the breaking, we just have to be willing to see them . Many times in my life my blessings have been disguised by my trials, however my daddy God has never proven to fail me, for in the end of my trial I saw my blessing.

James 1:2-5
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various …

Holding On To Hope

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Hope is a feeling of expectancy with the belief of grand things to come. It is a corner stone in order to stay grounded in times of struggle, knowing that this too shall pass. It is a map with directions to reach breakthroughs. This is my definition of hope.

I literally cling to hope  just as a small child clings to his mothers leg. To give you a visual close your eyes and picture a child with their arms and legs wrapped around their mothers leg as she attempts to walk across the floor. Can you see her dragging her leg with her child basically sitting on her foot?  That is me and hope. I cling to her and sit on her foot with all my limbs clutching around her. However there have been  times I did not do such a good job of holding on to hope.  Times when I haven fallen and have had to crawl my way back to her digging in with all that I have.
What does "hope deferred" mean? Proverbs is t…

My Lions' Den Of Emotions

I always try to do my best to write from a place of encouragement; a place of my own struggles and His victory over my life. In the smallest of life's daily mundane trials, on my biggest 'blah" moments and even when the state of my heart is not where it needs to be, I want to encourage.
The last few months is seems I  have been trying to encourage myself a little more than the norm? Reminding myself to push to keep going, to not give up, to stand and not lay down. The struggle has been real on all accounts with my emotions all over the place. My internal mood swings have caused me to give myself emotional whiplash. I feel like I have been thrown into a lions den of emotions.
Through much prayer and seeking my daddy God for direction I am brought to the book of Daniel. Now I realize my circumstances are different from those of Daniel when he was thrown into the lions den. I have not been falsely accused of wrong doing, nor breaking any law declared by a king and sentenced…

My Hearts Desires

I traveled to my home church in Texas over the weekend. It was our yearly ladies retreat.  A time to come together and share as only we ladies know how when we are together.  Our gathering to let our hair down, be silly, share our hearts, our struggles, our victories and our love. A time of refreshing, renewal and restoring.  I love my highway driving time, when it's just me, my music and my sweet Jesus headed to my destination.  It is my special place when I can talk to him, share my whole heart above the noise of the world and hear his loving voice deep inside my soul.  Heading west, I pour my heart out to my daddy God. I tell him of the changes and struggles I have faced the last two months. ( like he didn't already know)  I thanked him for the love of so many he has placed in my life. I praised him for the trials I have walked through and the strength he has given me to continue.
Making my way down the highway I saw the sun setting in the distance. For just a few brief se…

A Blazing Furnace

This morning I woke up anticipating to hear from my daddy God.  I wanted direction and guidance in the worst kind of way. I had no words to speak only a heart that cried out for peace and assurance that all will be well. 
I opened the book of Daniel and my eyes locked in on the story of Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego.  God's word describes how the three of them refused to abide by the law King Nebuchadnezzar had passed that all would have to  bow and worship the gold imagine he had constructed.  Scripture goes on to say how they were bound and tied by the strongest of soldiers.  In the Kings fury he had  the furnace turned up seven times hotter than normal and thrown them in to be burned alive.  To the Kings amazement , he saw 4 not 3 men in the blazing furnace. Not one was bound nor tied, not one was singed or scorched and neither did any of the three come out smelling of smoke.  The  King began to sing his praises to the God of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego. 
Daniel 3:28 28 Then…

Letting Go Of My Ashes

" He will give beauty for ashes" 
I adore those words.  I love that in the midst of my trials his promise is "beauty for my ashes"
To have the knowledge , the promise, no matter how ugly life can get, there will be beauty emerging from the ashes.
God wants to take my (your) trials and messiness and give me (you) joy and healing.

 However, to receive my beauty, I must let go of my ashes.
When I heard Joyce Meyer say those words, I began to think about what, if any, ashes have I hoarded away or did I have any that I presently was holding on to.
As I pondered on any ashes in my life, I continued to listen to Joyce and then next words she spoke hit me like a arrow to a bulls-eye.....

"First step forgive everyone who hast hurt you."
A ash is now revealed....un- forgiveness
I tell God, I do forgive, how can this be an ash I am holding?
In his grace,  He shows me....
Even though I have spoken forgiveness out of obedience, the process of working through my hurt I …