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Showing posts from 2018

Receiving Grace 2019

Every year the Lord will give me one word for the upcoming year. Last year He spoke the word receive to me. I'd be lying if I didn't say how excited I was to hear that word. Receive,receive, receive......I couldn't imagine all the great and new wonderful things He had for me to receive in 2018. I did my happy dance all the way through Christmas, extending my dance moves into the new year and added a few toe-tapping moves by the time spring rolled around. At that point, there was nothing or no one that could sway me from my self-indulged happy dance.

And then life cut in and interrupted my blissful dance with "receive".  Division shoved me off the dance floor while strife was stepping on my toes. Hurt was waiting for me to twirl me right into the arms of brokenness. This was not even close to what I believed I was to receive. Not understanding I brought my unhappiness to the feet of my Jesus. My life has been an uphill climb for so long, why for the love of all c…

The Crevices of Change Hurt

Making pottery is a craft of pure beauty. Majestic designs etched in to the clay with the smallest of hand tools. The steadiness of the potter's hands as the wheel is spun, scrapping away what is not needed in creating a one of a kind piece. The brazen shine, bold colors, and lingering prints of love left behind for all to see the tender care that was placed in creating such a piece causes pause and reflection on the times when I have been placed on the potter's wheel where the Lord will mold, shape and reshape me time and time again never to leave me as I am.

I had made a mental list of things I need to change. Next to each item, I noted the whys, the how's and the just because reasons to the changes needed. However, my list was long which caused an overwhelming panic to set in. There I was smack dab in the middle of a self induced panic attack I stared at a list I could never accomplish on my own. I had not even the slightest clue to which change to start with. They a…

Trust The Block

If I were to write a complete list of every time the Lord blocked a situation in my life and I broke through the barricade, my list would lap the world a few times over. Disobedience through my emotions has caused me great pain in my life time. Caving into what my flesh has desired has never lined up with what the Lord has had for me. And my own justifications for doing so, well lets just say pride had a lot to do with it. It has taken many of falls, much heart break and several do overs to get to a place in my own thinking were I have realized to trust the block, to accept the barricades for my own well being and the wisdom to see past my own wants. His plans are far better than any of my own. And in this season of my life, I have a profound peace in that knowledge.

However in my earlier years my foolish ways caused an abundance of unnecessary hard lessons. I never sought the Lord  in my decision making. I made what choices I believed to be right and then when things were falling a…

She Shut The Door And Poured

2 Kings 4:5 So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out.   2 Kings chapter 4 tells the story of a widow woman on the verge of losing her sons to pay off the debits owed. With creditors on their way to take her only means of future support, she cries out to the prophet Elisha. Following his instructions, vessels are gathered and the little bit of oil she has begins to flow in abundance..... after she shuts the door. With many vessels now full, she is able to sell the oil, pay the debits owed and her sons remain with her. She shut the door and poured it out....... Those words erupt in my heart. A Godly woman she was. she poured her heart out and her needs were met. But she shut the door! Too many times in life I have a need , a wanting, a desire but yet can not hear what the Lord would say all because I have left the door open; a open door allowing the voices of the world to pour into my heart and not the promises …

According To My Fruits

Jeremiah 17:9-10
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, The Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

I read those words over and over and the seven words that stood out to me "according to the fruit of his doings."  We know whatever is in the heart of man, it will manifest its self through words, actions and in behaviors and thoughts. In the days of Jeremiah we know he was called to speak to a nation whose hearts were filled with deceit, a place were no good fruit was found.  And once again I go back to those seven words and this time I change them a bit ..... " according to the fruit of MY doing." 

Did you read what I wrote?  I put my own heart in that verse for the Lord to search.  That is not an easy task. No one likes to be called out for the wrong we say, do or even think. It's so much easier if we can just sweep it under the ru…

His Grieving Heart.....

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash Have you ever stopped to think if God ever grieves? If His heart actually does break? I do, every time my heart is broken, and I usually ask, " Lord does this break your heart as well? "  When those I love make a choice I know will cause them pain my heart starts to hurt. My heart breaks when I know I can not stop the choices being made nor can I halt the sting of correction that will come. I know we are constantly growing and learning in life, however, when I can see the outcome, the broken pieces before they shatter, my heart's grief is unstoppable. Many times we see where the Lord had to take drastic measures in the correction of His people. As harsh as it was I believe His heart broke time and time again. Jeremiah 9:1 Oh, that my head were waters, and my eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the daughter of my people!
In this verse I can see God's grief  through the weeping prophet, Jeremiah. I believe if the…

Created For A Time Such As This


The book of Esther is one of my favorites.  A young, beautiful Jewish girl living in the Persian Empire who lost her parents at a tender age was in the care of her kinsman, Mordecai. I do not believe he ever once entertained the notion the child he took as his own would come to live in the palace of Shushan as queen. Nor save their people. But.God. Esther 4:14 .......Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther's story is one of great faith and redemption. Her trust in God was greater than the circumstances that surrounded her. There are seasons we find ourselves in not quite knowing how it is we came to such a place. Over the last several years I have questioned the station of my life. I had believed it to be one way and yet it's been something totally different. I often think how Esther was taken from all that she knew and placed in a life that was foreign to her. We all have seasons that are foreign to us, seasons of growth in whi…

I Got The Window Seat

This past week I flew to Colorado to be with my daughter when they finalized the adoption for my grandson. It was an amazing week spent with my family there; a moment in time I will forever cherish. When I booked my flight I forgot to pick my seat on my flight. Once I hit the button to purchase my ticket I remembered the window seat, I love the window seat. Sitting in front of my computer a bit of disappointment I felt knowing I would be seating in the aisle or the middle. " oh well" I told myself.  My disappointment left quickly as my excitement to see my family grew.

The day came for me to leave, arriving at the airport I whispered a prayer to the Lord for a safe trip and as an after thought, I told Him I'd love to have a window seat. After I receive my boarding pass, to my surprise I saw I indeed had the window seat and then to my delight realized I again had the window seat on my connecting flight in Houston as well.  My excitement  doubled, kinda like the getting …

To Hear Is To Do...

Speaking has never been a fear of mine. I can speak to anyone, anywhere and at anytime. Truth is, I love to talk, even if it's a brick wall.  It has been my family's forever running joke about me and honestly I am good with it.  God has blessed me with the gift of gab, a gift I proudly use when He will have me speak into the lives of those He chooses. I love when He gives me an encouraging word to  share;  my heart explodes with excitement after all who doesn't like hearing a promising word of truth right?

My problem comes, notice I said "my problem",  when He will have me speak a truth to someone and it is not what they want to hear. I have those moments when I am ready to run as Jonah did or debate "why me" as Jeremiah. No one enjoys being ridiculed, nor do they relish the idea of having someone reject what God has called them to do or speak. It's easy to hear a spoken word, a promise of truth, a correction of love tucking it away for my own hea…

When My Puzzle Pieces Do Not Fit

Putting a puzzle together can be fun, enjoyable and somewhat a relaxing time when the pieces all fit correctly the first time.  However when it is a puzzle with thousands of little pieces that require a great deal of time trying to figure out what piece goes where it can become frustrating, at least for me. Many times I have had to rely on the box top picture to navigate me through the placing of each piece and even that process can be irritating. Eventually the pieces do all fit exactly the way they were created to fit and the perfect picture is formed.It is a victory of sorts for me as patience is not my best quality.

 But what about when our life's pieces are not fitting together?

I had this certain picture I created in my mind, a picture how my own pieces were to fit together, my perfect box top per say. However the pieces I chose I could not force them to fit. No matter how I placed them, pushed them together, they still would not connect. My box top picture was not the pr…

The Arms Of My Jesus

"It is well with my soul...." Softly I sing those words in a hush whisper to my heart.  Today is one of those days when I long to tangibly climb on the lap of my Jesus and let Him soothe my anxious  heart.   To say it is well with my soul but yet my flesh is ate up with emotion bears the question " How can one be at peace and yet the other sits in a pool of anxious emotion? "  I ask myself this question over and over again.  My flesh has screamed and cried out to no avail.  And my heart is weary. It seems the season I am in at this very moment is a season of breaking and much change. Beauty for ashes.....again.

I am tired of the ashes of life. I am undone, unraveled and exhausted because of these ashes. My flesh struggles to remain anchored in hope and my soul reassures me with every tear drop there is  beauty within. The relentless effort to see this beauty has my joy meter in the red. And that's OK.

I have had many ask me, "How can you have faith and y…

Fear Has No Place

Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash The new year has me starting a new bible study with some precious women I hold dear to my heart. We have decided to study the book of Jeremiah. How cool is it this book has 52 chapters, one chapter for every week. Jeremiah 29:11 and 1:5 have been a few of my favorites since I can remember but I must say the little nuggets I have received this week thus far in chapter one has me pretty stoked to learn more about the man God called to be a prophet before he ever took his first breath. Chapter 1 verse 8 continued to echo into my spirit.  " Do not be afraid of their faces, For I am with you to deliver you", says the Lord. Those words hit their mark with me. Rejection has been a huge thorn in my side since childhood. I work on it daily however when God calls me to speak into someones life, I have my moments when I'd rather run than speak. God reminds me to not be afraid of their faces. I relate "faces" to negative back lash and q…