Making a decision that will effect the course of life is not always easy. It can be scary filled with uncertainties, plenty of "what ifs " and the dreaded anxiety of change.
There was a time I had made a decision I believed to be good. After several months of much consideration and many conversations I finally made the huge leap that I was moving in the right direction. The pros at that point outweighed the cons or so I thought. Everything was falling into place with ease and I had no misconceptions or second thoughts. I saw the good and was walking from a place of trust.
Sadly it was misplaced trust........
When it all came crashing in on me. I can honestly say I did not see my newly foundation start to crack and crumble. I did not see the writing on the wall. I never saw the failure of my choice getting ready to explode in my face. But explode it did.( Maybe I wasn't willing to see it and probably chose to ignore the red flags.)
Once it did I went into survivor mode. With tears, I swallowed my pride , refused to play the "blame" game, immediately put up barriers in my heart so shame could not take root and road blocks in my mind for the voices of " I told you so" not to play like a broken record.
Over and over again...................
I did however become angry. I am told it's OK to be angry. It is a part of the process you are going through. I know I am angry my trust was broken. I know for a fact I am angry with myself for not seeing through the tangled web of false pretenses. I am angry that I trusted something I should not have, and did not see a life changing decision for what it really was. I am angry I allowed myself to be in this position. Broken trust and a hurting heart will cause a person to have these emotions. Realizing the ones we love the most will be the ones who hurt us the greatest is a heart shattering wake up call.
However................
Being angry is OK........It's what I do with my anger determines how I move forward.
God's word tells me to bless those who do me wrong. To pray for those who hurt me and to not seek pay back for their actions. I do my best to look for the best in any situation, however this particular time my anger has caught me off guard and I was unaware the power it was gaining in my daily life. I do the one thing I know works best, I begin to seek the promises and words of my daddy God.
1 Peter 3:9
Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
Luke 6:27-28
But to you who are listening I say; Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you , pray for those who mistreat you.
Anger is birthed from a place of hurt, however it is my decision as to how big it grows.
Anger can grow with the words I speak......
By the actions I take.....
And the attitude I demonstrate.
I choose to bless the ones who hurt me....
Pray for those who mistreat me....
Love as Christ the ones who betray me....
And trust my daddy God to bring me through.
Packing Up Anger~
Xoxo
Stacey
Hi Stacey, I love this post and I pray that the Lord replaces those angry places in your heart with love and contentment. It is not only ok to be angry, but it also takes time for it to work out of your system. You state a great truth when you say firstly that you acknowledge it is there, but also will not let it grow further. Soon, you will wake up and realize that anger is no more, and you will have had a cuppa and a big inhale and exhale, before you realize, your heart doesnt ache anymore. I pray the Lord refreshes you greatly and revives your joy within you sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteGod bless precious friend
Tracy
Thank you sugar!! I am standing on His word with the knowledge He is walking me out!! God bless you
Deletexoxoxo