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His Grieving Heart.....

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Created For A Time Such As This


The book of Esther is one of my favorites.  A young, beautiful Jewish girl living in the Persian Empire who lost her parents at a tender age was in the care of her kinsman, Mordecai. I do not believe he ever once entertained the notion the child he took as his own would come to live in the palace of Shushan as queen. Nor save their people. But.God. Esther 4:14 .......Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther's story is one of great faith and redemption. Her trust in God was greater than the circumstances that surrounded her. There are seasons we find ourselves in not quite knowing how it is we came to such a place. Over the last several years I have questioned the station of my life. I had believed it to be one way and yet it's been something totally different. I often think how Esther was taken from all that she knew and placed in a life that was foreign to her. We all have seasons that are foreign to us, seasons of growth in whi…

I Got The Window Seat

This past week I flew to Colorado to be with my daughter when they finalized the adoption for my grandson. It was an amazing week spent with my family there; a moment in time I will forever cherish. When I booked my flight I forgot to pick my seat on my flight. Once I hit the button to purchase my ticket I remembered the window seat, I love the window seat. Sitting in front of my computer a bit of disappointment I felt knowing I would be seating in the aisle or the middle. " oh well" I told myself.  My disappointment left quickly as my excitement to see my family grew.

The day came for me to leave, arriving at the airport I whispered a prayer to the Lord for a safe trip and as an after thought, I told Him I'd love to have a window seat. After I receive my boarding pass, to my surprise I saw I indeed had the window seat and then to my delight realized I again had the window seat on my connecting flight in Houston as well.  My excitement  doubled, kinda like the getting …

To Hear Is To Do...

Speaking has never been a fear of mine. I can speak to anyone, anywhere and at anytime. Truth is, I love to talk, even if it's a brick wall.  It has been my family's forever running joke about me and honestly I am good with it.  God has blessed me with the gift of gab, a gift I proudly use when He will have me speak into the lives of those He chooses. I love when He gives me an encouraging word to  share;  my heart explodes with excitement after all who doesn't like hearing a promising word of truth right?

My problem comes, notice I said "my problem",  when He will have me speak a truth to someone and it is not what they want to hear. I have those moments when I am ready to run as Jonah did or debate "why me" as Jeremiah. No one enjoys being ridiculed, nor do they relish the idea of having someone reject what God has called them to do or speak. It's easy to hear a spoken word, a promise of truth, a correction of love tucking it away for my own hea…

When My Puzzle Pieces Do Not Fit

Putting a puzzle together can be fun, enjoyable and somewhat a relaxing time when the pieces all fit correctly the first time.  However when it is a puzzle with thousands of little pieces that require a great deal of time trying to figure out what piece goes where it can become frustrating, at least for me. Many times I have had to rely on the box top picture to navigate me through the placing of each piece and even that process can be irritating. Eventually the pieces do all fit exactly the way they were created to fit and the perfect picture is formed.It is a victory of sorts for me as patience is not my best quality.

 But what about when our life's pieces are not fitting together?

I had this certain picture I created in my mind, a picture how my own pieces were to fit together, my perfect box top per say. However the pieces I chose I could not force them to fit. No matter how I placed them, pushed them together, they still would not connect. My box top picture was not the pr…

The Arms Of My Jesus

"It is well with my soul...." Softly I sing those words in a hush whisper to my heart.  Today is one of those days when I long to tangibly climb on the lap of my Jesus and let Him soothe my anxious  heart.   To say it is well with my soul but yet my flesh is ate up with emotion bears the question " How can one be at peace and yet the other sits in a pool of anxious emotion? "  I ask myself this question over and over again.  My flesh has screamed and cried out to no avail.  And my heart is weary. It seems the season I am in at this very moment is a season of breaking and much change. Beauty for ashes.....again.

I am tired of the ashes of life. I am undone, unraveled and exhausted because of these ashes. My flesh struggles to remain anchored in hope and my soul reassures me with every tear drop there is  beauty within. The relentless effort to see this beauty has my joy meter in the red. And that's OK.

I have had many ask me, "How can you have faith and y…

Fear Has No Place

Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash The new year has me starting a new bible study with some precious women I hold dear to my heart. We have decided to study the book of Jeremiah. How cool is it this book has 52 chapters, one chapter for every week. Jeremiah 29:11 and 1:5 have been a few of my favorites since I can remember but I must say the little nuggets I have received this week thus far in chapter one has me pretty stoked to learn more about the man God called to be a prophet before he ever took his first breath. Chapter 1 verse 8 continued to echo into my spirit.  " Do not be afraid of their faces, For I am with you to deliver you", says the Lord. Those words hit their mark with me. Rejection has been a huge thorn in my side since childhood. I work on it daily however when God calls me to speak into someones life, I have my moments when I'd rather run than speak. God reminds me to not be afraid of their faces. I relate "faces" to negative back lash and q…