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Letting Go Of My Ashes

" He will give beauty for ashes" 

I adore those words. 
I love that in the midst of my trials his promise is "beauty for my ashes"
To have the knowledge , the promise, no matter how ugly life can get, there will be beauty emerging from the ashes.
God wants to take my (your) trials and messiness and give me (you) joy and healing.

 However, to receive my beauty, I must let go of my ashes.
When I heard Joyce Meyer say those words, I began to think about what, if any, ashes have I hoarded away or did I have any that I presently was holding on to.
As I pondered on any ashes in my life, I continued to listen to Joyce and then next words she spoke hit me like a arrow to a bulls-eye.....

"First step forgive everyone who hast hurt you."
A ash is now revealed....un- forgiveness
I tell God, I do forgive, how can this be an ash I am holding?
In his grace,  He shows me....
Even though I have spoken forgiveness out of obedience, the process of working through my hurt I have allowed a lingering hold on my total forgiveness.
My ash of un- forgiveness has now been placed in front of me blinking boldly like a neon sign. Bells and whistles are now blaring in my head.  I can no longer deny it.
Forgiveness is not a feeling.
It is decision on how I treat, talk about and pray for those who have hurt me.

"I do pray for them." I tell God
" How have you treated them? I hear him say.
 With tears in my eyes; " Short and snippy." I reply.
I see His loving smile as He extends His hand to the ground.
I place my ash of un-forgiveness at his feet. I see those who have hurt me as my daddy God does; little children with no understanding of the hurt they have cause.

Snapping back to the sermon at hand, and wiping the tears from my face; I hear her say....
" Hurting people hurt people and act out of their own pain. Messed up people are scared for others to see how messed up they really are."
I continue to listen in the hopes this is my only ash.
Sadly ....there is more.

" Every day I must be ready to live my life NOT offended."
I stare at the screen with a dumb found look on my face with only one word that comes forth.
Then I ask out loud....
"Please tell me how to do that , because though my list is not long, its not real short either. "
Like she can hear me right?

My next ash is brought forth.....anger
"Who have I hurt with my anger?" I blurt out.
"I have for the most part kept  it to myself." I say
"You are hurting yourself ;  Release your anger for all the wrong that has been done. I am the only one who can  make them right." I hear Him whisper to me.
" Why did it all have to happen? " I whisper back in a trembling voice.
I hear no answer to my question and continue to listen on as Joyce speaks.

" Love is not a feeling. It is a decision to love regardless"  " When we pray for God to use us, sometimes we have to suffer through some unpleasant things for the healing of another individual"  

"Not fair Lord." I tell him
" Life is not fair but I am just." He responds.
" I know, I am to show unconditional love regardless. ' I mumble under my breath.
" Regardless, just as I show you."  He says.

And now my third ash surfaces.....
Shame mixed with humiliation.
 I feel shame from choices I made in the belief they were the right ones.
The "oops" I did it again walk of shame.....
When all I want to do is pull the covers over my head in the hopes no one has realized the reality of my latest "shame game" .......
Yep that's the one.
 I am swimming in humiliation knowing I truly did not see the outcome to be as such.
And the fact I allowed my consequences to become a stumbling block in my road.
Ever so slowly I walk back to the feet of Jesus and lay once again more ashes.
I have no words to speak out loud, but he hears the words of my heart.
" I am sorry Lord......"
 I look up  again to the screen and hear the sweetest words that bless my heart once again....
" He gives beauty for your ashes."
  " I give my ashes to you Lord and receive your beauty from them all." I tell him.

Are you struggling with  ashes in your life?
Are you ready to see the beauty emerge from them??

I want to share the 6 steps Joyce gave for the road of healing.
 I  have shared a scripture for each one that has ministered to me as I give up my ashes.

- Believe God can work out anything that has happened to you for good. 
Romans 8:28 
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

- Totally Forgive
Ephesians 4:31-32
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling ans slander, along with any form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

-Renew your mind. Do not believe the lies of the enemy.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

-Receive Gods love
Psalm 90:14
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. 

-Do not determine your value by how people treat you. 
Jeremiah 29:11
" For I know the plans I have for you ," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "

- Understand the nature of emotions and learn to manage them. 
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,peace,patience,kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. 

I am forever grateful He continues to correct, guide, heal and restore, extend His love, grace and mercy in my life. 

Letting Go Of My Ashes~


" God wants to take us whose life is a wreck of a mess to someone who is healed and whole. And helping others whose life glorifies Him with every breath they take." ~ Joyce Meyer


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