She Stands

                        Every year the Lord will give me one word for the upcoming year. Last year He spoke the word receive to me. I'd be lying if I didn't say how excited I was to hear that word. Receive, receive, receive ......I couldn't imagine all the great and new wonderful things He had for me to receive in 2018. I did my happy dance all the way through Christmas, extending my dance moves into the new year and added a few toe-tapping moves by the time spring rolled around. At that point, there was nothing or no one that could sway me from my self-indulged happy dance. And then life cut in and interrupted my blissful dance with "receive".  Division shoved me off the dance floor while strife was stepping on my toes. Hurt was waiting for me to twirl me right into the arms of brokenness. This was not even close to what I believed I was to receive. Not understanding I brought my unhappiness to the fee...

 Making pottery is a craft of pure beauty. Majestic designs etched in to the clay with the smallest of hand tools. The steadiness of the potter's hands as the wheel is spun, scrapping away what is not needed in creating a one of a kind piece. The brazen shine, bold colors, and lingering prints of love left behind for all to see the tender care that was placed in creating such a piece causes pause and reflection on the times when I have been placed on the potter's wheel where the Lord will mold, shape and reshape me time and time again never to leave me as I am. I had made a mental list of things I need to change. Next to each item, I noted the whys, the how's and the just because reasons to the changes needed. However, my list was long which caused an overwhelming panic to set in. There I was smack dab in the middle of a self induced panic attack I stared at a list I could never accomplish on my own. I had not even...

 * Photo Credit *   There is a man that shows up every few weeks at my office. He walks in with eyes wide, fearful like, hands clasped together, clothes dirty and humbly says to me without fail ....  "Ma'm I haven't eaten in a few says can you help me?"   I look past his physical appearance and into his eyes and see his desperation. My heart breaks a thousand times over and I blink the tears back that form in my eyes as I hand him a few dollars. Some days I have none to give and I scramble to find him a snack from my bag.  And then without fail I hear the snide remarks made by others and see the shaking of their heads; I witness the lack of compassion . I continue to watch from the window and see him shuffle his feet across the street and walk into the store to perhaps buy him a sandwich or maybe just a small snack in which he can save the change for tomorrows meal.  I turn to go back to my desk, the sorrow I feel is great, and the...

This morning as I sat and drank my coffee, I watched this momma squirrel teach her baby where to go to collect their breakfast.  As she ran up and down the tree over the wooden fence, her baby followed her every foot step. Stopping when mom stopped, running when mom ran and jumping to the next spot just like mom was doing.  It was a peaceful moment in time in which my daddy God reminded me of his love and care for all his children and his love for me. I began to think back on the many times in my life his footprints  guided me down the tress, over the fences and through the rough spots in my life,  The many people he placed in my path to encourage me through my brokenness.  The love of family and friends that feed me with words of strength and healing. I began to see all the times in my life he used me to feed others even through my own struggles. When I surrender to his will, my focus shifts from my own brokenness to their...

A few months ago I decided to replace the flowers that were in this planter. The ones I had were dead and I saw no hope of them ever coming back.  I pulled all the dead out and I though I had all the existing roots pulled out as well.  Two weeks ago I noticed the regrowth of what I thought I had successful removed.  As the new sprouts of green begin to shoot out of the dirt, the new buds were forming.  Three nights ago much to my delight a bloom had blossomed and it's bright color of yellow shined even in the darkest, cold night.    As I looked at the beauty in the new growth in my planter, I began to think of the person I use to be. Through out my teen years and well into my late twenties, I was a angry, rebellious and unforgiving woman. My scarred heart and jaded emotions lead me to react with hostility and my words spoken were harsh and untruth at times. I wanted so badly to hurt those who had hurt me and rende...

    The definition of pain : physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury Injury can be physical and emotional.   We all walk roads of pain at one time or another. Whether it's our own road or one we are walking for someone we love and care for.   Each one is a different based on the circumstances and situations they are going through. Some are self inflicted by their own choices... And some are not. There are roads of pain that come to be simply because someone we love is going through hell and back and we have chosen to walk it out with them. We do so because we love them..... We do so because we have conquered our own road of pain and know how to prevail.   I choose do so because of the unconditional love of my daddy God has given me my entire life, never leaving nor forsaking me.  It is unconditional love is what will bring those I love through the pain, out of the shame and into a ...

Forgive me if I ramble....... So many thoughts and emotions today. I am trying to remove my flesh from it all.... Impossible on my own,  I know. I do not like the anger and bitterness that has infiltrated my inner being..... I feel as though I have iron bars wrapped around me and try as I might, I am unable to remove them. The hurt cascades over my heart twisting and turning into every crevice like spinney barbs ripping and slashing holes for anger and bitterness to to take up residence . Then the tears come....... Watching a loved one struggle can be most heart wrenching.... Feeling their pain on top of my own....... For me it's like watching a re-run of my past, which only intensifies the hurt. I have cried out to God asking Him " Isn't my testimony enough??" "My past mistakes should be more than suffice,  right,Lord??" "Why??....Just why Lord???" Silence penetrates my cries, for I already know my answer..... ...

Many times in life we all have chosen  to "bend" at one time or another. Make exceptions..... Extend grace...... Show mercy....... Love through gritted teeth..... Keep the peace. There are times when our bending seems we are on the verge of breaking. That we have nothing left to give...... We are scrapping the bottom of our "grace" jar. Mercy has fled..... Peace has dried up.  We are pulled and tugged in many directions..... Ready to run screaming....ENOUGH ALREADY!!! This is how my week has been thus far. From one extreme to another..... As I start to throw my hands up in complete exasperation..... Ready to throw in the towel.....  HE shows up in all his glory reminding me of who I am !! His child, His daughter....... A child of the Most High God. I am  blessed beyond measure to have so many who remind me daily through all my bending I will not break!! M...

Someone once told me .......... "Be careful what pot you stir, for you may end up eating from that very same pot" It was several years back this was shared and I love how a lesson back then can and will still apply to the here and now.  It amazes me when my daddy God brings something to my heart and mind. I have been meditating on this and asking.....   What am I stirring Lord? A pot full of love or resentment?? Does my pot have forgiveness or anger?? Is my soul food tasty or bitter here in my pot? Do my ingredients smell of sweet nothings and a beautiful fragrance to you Lord? Do they cause others to hunger for you? Or have they began to burn with blackness on my heart and in my words?? And cause pain and sorrow?? Exactly what am I stirring Lord??? It's so easy to get caught up in our fleshy emotions for we truly can not see what exactly we tend to stir.  I have come to a place in my life, I no longer conce...

Grace, Ohhh how I love you........ I am trying with every breath in my being to show this one particular person grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love all wrapped in one..... I am finding it so hard as boundaries have been crossed..... Feelings have been hurt..... Choices made that were not theirs  to make...... This person has rubbed me the wrong way, over and over again.  I want to scream at the top of my lungs ... IT"S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!  But.......I remind myself to take the highroad..... To sow peace and not strife...... To eliminate any and all stress to the best of my ability...... To be more of Christ and less of me. However with my words and thoughts on different pages........ ~Grace comes knocking again~ I sit with her and began to tell her why I feel the way I do.... I tell her this person is too pushy.... To over bearing.... I explain to her I see this person making everything all about them.... ...

Turning a page in a book can be exciting....... The words written leave you wanting more of the story...... You hang on to every word and then...... You turn the page.  Over the last 23 years, my pages have all been written as the story of a mom .....  My words describe my girls.... All their accomplishments..... Their steps into new seasons of life...... Their lessons learned..... Tears cried..... Smiles of joy..... My title, "Mom"........... plain and simple. I have found myself starring at this page I am to turn..... My last child is getting ready to leave the nest. And when I say leave the nest, I mean her bags are already packed, her decisions are made and there is no turning back..... ( in her mind anyways) Eighteen-itis has set it and set in hard..... I am having a hard time enjoying her last few weeks of high school..... I do not want to turn this page..... I see my baby throwing herself into the world without thin...