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Standing With A Hurting Heart



Forgive me if I ramble.......
So many thoughts and emotions today.

 I am trying to remove my flesh from it all....
Impossible on my own,  I know.

I do not like the anger and bitterness that has infiltrated my inner being.....
I feel as though I have iron bars wrapped around me and try as I might, I am unable to remove them.
The hurt cascades over my heart twisting and turning into every crevice like spinney barbs ripping and slashing holes for anger and bitterness to to take up residence .
Then the tears come.......

 Watching a loved one struggle can be most heart wrenching....
Feeling their pain on top of my own.......
For me it's like watching a re-run of my past, which only intensifies the hurt.
I have cried out to God asking Him " Isn't my testimony enough??"
"My past mistakes should be more than suffice,  right,Lord??"
"Why??....Just why Lord???"
Silence penetrates my cries, for I already know my answer.....

 We all have our own testimony.....
Our own mistakes.....
Our own trials.
For without them, we would never learn and grow......
Our faith would never increase.
And even though I know this, my heart still hurts.
"Let go and let God"  can be extremely difficult when my fleshy emotions are running rapid through my mind. 


Today, I am ever so gently reminded  Jesus feels the same way when He stands for me.....
He feels my pain and hurt....... 
He understands my struggle........
He whispers to me that my daddy God has watched me struggle time and time again ,only to witness me grow to be more like Him with each trial I have walked through. 
He understands my fleshy emotions....
He sees my heart......
He feels my hurt.....
He hears my cries.
Psalm 116:1-2
 I love the Lord, because He has heard
My voice and my supplications.
2 Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live

  Standing for those I love does not mean I can fix the brokenness in their lives.....
Nor does it mean the road they are walking I can remove the bumps.
I can however pray they come out victorious on the other side....
I can cry out to God to remove from my life any hindrance that will interfere with my standing.....
To remove the anger and bitterness.........
To refill those holes with grace and mercy......
To exemplify unconditional love the way Christ calls me to do.
I can grow from this as well......
My faith will increase.

 Through my tears, I will  trust that He has everything in control....
Believe that His word never returns void......
Remain faithful to what He has called me to do.......
Press in and not wavier.

 Standing with a hurting heart..........
But coming out victorious!!

 xoxo
Stacey

Romans 15:13

13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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Comments

  1. Kristin BridgmanMarch 10, 2014 at 9:59 AM

    Standing with you sweet friend! You have a great outlook, looking to the One who knows and sees all. Love you~

    ReplyDelete

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