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The Crevices of Change Hurt

 Making pottery is a craft of pure beauty. Majestic designs etched in to the clay with the smallest of hand tools. The steadiness of the potter's hands as the wheel is spun, scrapping away what is not needed in creating a one of a kind piece. The brazen shine, bold colors, and lingering prints of love left behind for all to see the tender care that was placed in creating such a piece causes pause and reflection on the times when I have been placed on the potter's wheel where the Lord will mold, shape and reshape me time and time again never to leave me as I am.

I had made a mental list of things I need to change. Next to each item, I noted the whys, the how's and the just because reasons to the changes needed. However, my list was long which caused an overwhelming panic to set in. There I was smack dab in the middle of a self induced panic attack I stared at a list I could never accomplish on my own. I had not even the slightest clue to which change to start with. They all seemed to run together. I had picked my self apart with each of my flaws to the point the only thing left was a thread bare heart dangling to hold on.

My gullibility caused me many a heartache.....

My OCD over certain things caused a truck load of strife.....

My deep seeded fear I'd be rejected in my lack had me living in a state of delusional perfection. Nor did it help when others would make sure my lack/failures were always front and center. The emotional hamster wheel I was on had me running in chaos. The unforgiveness I believed I had mastered  bubbled up inside like a dormant volcano ready to spew it's hot lava.

And when I reached the point of shear desperation, Jesus stepped in............

" I am the vine, you are the branches, He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

 Though I am forever on the potter's wheel, He gives me a lesson in being a branch. He had to remind me without Him I could not successfully change those things of my flesh. It is only through His molding and reshaping would the changes come.  He showed me how the struggle with myself was more that those around me.  The portrait in my head had me playing tug-a-war with my emotions. The whys, the who's, and the how's mixed with my lack of understanding waged a war in my every thought. He then reminded me it is in my weakness He is strong. He reminded me in the deepest of my crevices of change, He is always with me. He is the potter. My potter. The One who sees the beauty He lovingly crafted in me and the designs of my heart He etched for His purpose.

For my " branch" of life to remain I must continue to abide in Him. To stay connected to Jesus.  The "fruit" my life will bear will only come forth when I allow Him to scrape the deep crevices of my heart and remove any impure things which would cause my life's fruit to die before it would ever have a chance to bloom. There may be seasons when He has to trim my branch slightly.There are other times when He will have to prune me to barley a nub on the vine allowing for large growth to occur.

And when the growing pains from scraping crevices become impossible to bear He reminds me again and again, time after time, His grace is enough for me.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.



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