She Stands

 Jeremiah Chapter 17 Verses 9 and 10 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, The Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings. I read those words over and over and the seven words that stood out to me "according to the fruit of his doings."  We know whatever is in the heart of man, it will manifest itself through words, actions and in behaviors and thoughts. In the days of Jeremiah, we know he was called to speak to a nation whose hearts were filled with deceit, a place where no good fruit was found.  And once again I go back to those seven words and this time, I change them a bit .... " According to the fruit of my doing."  Did you hear those words?  I put my own heart in that verse for the Lord to search.  That is not an easy task. No one likes to be called out for the wrong we say, do or even think. It's so much easier if we can jus...

  "Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness... my God, that is who You are."  Those lyrics depict my life as single mom when my girls where children living at home. I struggled raising my children, and I struggled hard.  Struggling was not a choice I made; it was a reality of a single mom working long hours on low wages.  As very young children I do not believe my girls realized the struggles their mom had, but as teenagers I know the reality was front faced for them both.   Seeing what some of their peers had versus what they may have lacked in material things broke this mama's heart time and time again.   I know material possessions are not the end all be all of life, however for a teenager it can be in their world. And it caused some resentment in my home.  Teenage years are tough. Not only for the parent but for the teenager trying to find their way and their purpose in life. There were times, I believed I had...

                                                                                                                                                                  2 Kings 4:5 So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out.       2 Kings chapter 4 tells the story of a widow woman on the verge of losing her sons to pay off the debts owed. With creditors on their way to take her only means of future support, she cries out to ...

  If I were to write a complete list of every time the Lord blocked a situation in my life and I broke through the barricade, my list would lap the world a few times over. Disobedience through my emotions has caused me great pain in my lifetime. Caving into what my flesh has desired has never lined up with what the Lord has had for me. And my own justifications for doing so, well let's just say pride had a lot to do with it.  It has taken many of falls, much heart break and several do overs to get to a place in my own thinking where I have realized to trust the block, to accept the barricades for my own wellbeing and the wisdom to see past my own wants. His plans are far better than any of my own. And in this season of my life, I have a profound peace in that knowledge. However, in my earlier years, my foolish ways caused an abundance of unnecessary hard lessons. I never sought the Lord in my decision making. I made what choices I believed to...

                                                                        Mark 4:5-6 New King James Version.  Some fell on stony ground, where it did not have much earth, and immediately it sprang up because it had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up it was scorched, and because it had no root it withered away.  Scorched and withered.  When I read those two words the pain, I imagine cannot equate with the reality of the pain one would feel of having a part of their body scorched.  Nor can I fathom the pain of someone who is withering away from a torturous illness.  Just as our flesh can become scorched and our bodies can wither away so can our spiritual lives if we allow the seeds of our faith to be planted upon stony ground.  A plant, or fl...

 His love broke open the way and brought me into a beautiful broad place...... Psalm 18:19 (TPT) " His love broke open the way...."  I simply adore those words. I can see in this translation the beautiful resurrection of Christ. Though he laid dead in a darkened tomb with a stone sealing him in and others out, God reached down with His love, kissing life back into His son with His whispering words of love.  And the stone was rolled away...….. Many times, in my life there have been situations, circumstances or even relationships which seemed to be placed behind a stone.  No heartbeat. No warming touch. No life at all. There have been other times when I felt like I was the one behind a stone. Stumbling through the pitch blackness, gasping for air, hands forward trying to feel my way out through the absolute dead of silence. Or so it appeared. BUT. GOD. He never intended for those things in my life which look to be desolate to remain as such. What I see and what He sees...

  Deuteronomy 14:2  For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Out of the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession.  Treasured possession...…..  There have been too many times in my life where I  never saw myself as a treasured possession; someone of worth. I could be standing in a room full of people, huge smile on my face, laughter echoing with a boisterous sound of a sonic boom and yet I felt so alone. Out of place. Misplaced. I never really understood how a social butterfly such as myself could feel so detached from the world around me. But disjointed I was.  I was able to force myself into fitting in; merging with the crowd. And going with the flow. It was never just one crowd. I was a chameleon of sorts.  Changing my colors to blend with my surroundings. Always looking the part in words and action, but never understanding why I could never change the bellowing emotions on the inside forcibly statin...

Seeing Jesus in the form of a man has been a life challenge for me. I know he is real. I know he walked on earth as a living, breathing flesh. But growing up, I could never connect to the reality of the flesh side of him. I could not understand how someone I could not tangibly see could really love me.   Until now... In my 50ish years, my journey has led me straight to the face of my Jesus. And my own well of sorts.   Relating to the woman at the well has not only become a reflection of my own brokenness but a source of my healing.  Jesus never intended for what broke me to have a lifetime hold on me. I did that. I was my own judge. And juror.  Daily trials, life's mishaps, broken pieces, and my lack of understanding continuously led me to the one face that loves me in spite of myself.   My. Jesus. The weariness of my flesh at times will overtake my thoughts in the attempt to remove any presence of Him. But yet He remains.  He remains in my m...

Colossians 4:6 (NKJV)   Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Speech with grace, seasoned with salt ...………… Admitting out loud the numerous times I have tripped and tumbled over my words in my younger years can be compared to eating a tablespoon of vinegar. Many times, my words have been less than desirable. Rank-smelling, mouth puckering, and eye-watering pain would be a better description. They held no salt, only the salty tones of my utterance. My salty tones were not spoken to encourage, lift up, or be a positive influence. They were the back tones of my own emotional injuries that I had selflessly chosen to share like an arrow hitting a target.  Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:13. You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.  I did not want the salt the Lord...