I am having the biggest Ah-Ha moment of my life ......
I mean really, it's huge, gianormous, thrilling and a freedom that I have never known!!
I have always tried to be Ms. Fix-It to anyone and everyone I love.....
Especially my two girls.
They are my babies; it's my job right?!?
Well.............. Not so much.
And with my OCD Ms. Fix-It syndrome, I have allowed myself to be over stressed, over whelmed and become a natural disaster emotionally.
It was my job to a certain point in their lives, to nurture, teach, shape, mold and love them.
I was to give them roots and wings.......
Apparently it's the wing part that I have had a hard time balancing.
Forgive me Lord for I know I can be a basket case :)
If one was to ask my girls, they'd probably say I need hormones, but in reality it has been a fear that I did not do my job well enough for them to succeed in the world with out me.
I panic when I see them making decisions that , in the long run, may be hurtful and damaging......
What mom wouldn't want to spare her child from pain right??
It has been my long time fear that one, if not both, my girls would make my past mistakes.....
Roads that I myself walked, and ended in disaster.
It has been with a love so deep , words could never describe, that I have wanted to protect them from any and all pain in life.
I know all the common cliche's .....
" You gave them roots, now it's time to spread their wings"
" Let go and let God"
" We all had to learn and so do they"
" All you can do now is pray for them"
I must say the best truth I have heard came from a brother in Christ .....
He said to me " We are just stewards over them for a time, they really belong to the Lord as we all do"
What he didn't know was he was reminding me what the Lord spoke to me when my oldest was just 16 years old and off on a mission trip in the Navajo Nation.
( Thanks Scott!)
The reality of that statement is I already knew that, I just couldn't grasp it in the natural.
I raised my girls to be strong, independent, and to push through any trials that come their way.
I taught them to never let the world tell them who they are but for them to tell the world who they are in Christ.
I raised them to stand for what's right and support the under dogs in life.
Not to judge but to love.
To be who and all God has created them to be.
The thing is, I was hindering God to be all He can be in their lives......
I was trying to do my job AND his job!
OCD to the max!!
Geezzzz, no wonder I put myself in a frenzy of a tailspin!!!
Thank you sweet Jesus, he never leaves us where we are in life.
He continues to teach us.
For me to pray and ask my daddy God to handle situations and circumstances in my loved ones lives, I have to let go. I can't pray about it and then do the opposite of my prayers.....
That is what the word tells us is called "double-minded"
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways
The roller coaster ride I have been on the last several months has now come to it's resting place in my life.
I have truly let go and let God.....
It's not just words anymore.....
It has now become an action and with that action, peace that really surpasses ALL understanding!
I will continue to stand in prayer for my loved ones, love unconditionally support and guide when asked but no longer will I attempt to do His job.
Don't cha just love when He speaks?!?!?
It's all about complete and total trust in our daddy God!
It just clicked.....for real!!
21 Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not be unpunished: but the seed of the righteous shall be delivered.