She Stands

I do not remember the last time I felt the urgency to write. It felt as though I had lost the words the Lord had swirling on the inside of me. No matter how many times I opened my blog to pen what was in my heart, my entire being would draw a huge blank. So there I sat waiting for the words to come; ready for them to spill from the orifice of my many tears. While I did not hear any words to script, my heart and soul heard... "Shhhhhh"    2019 has been a uncomfortable year of waiting for me. Asking, seeking, praying without ceasing, diving into His word time after time and...…… more waiting. I could not find any solace in the silence I was bearing.  In the middle of what I saw as a paused life, growth has been taking place. A growth I could not understand ...…until now. If I had to pick one point of growth to share, one that stands out the greatest, TRUST.  I have stressed to my children, my friends and family more times than I can count to trust the Lord. And...

 I can relate to this picture in several ways. Holding to the things I love in life, at times, can be a downfall for me. I clutch to the small with the belief this is the best I can do. I put restrictions on my daddy God as I live my daily life in a complacent safe zone; a area where no growth is available and a season that has come to its end. The reality is I get comfortable and convince myself I am right where I need to be. And all the while He is telling me "Trust me. I have better."   The definition of trust . .... to depend on, believe, have faith, and assurance in. And yet I continue to cling to what I think is best. The truth, my truth, is the struggle I have been battling within myself and my reasoning behind it. Though I feel my reasons are warranted, my complacency however is not. The world will have me to believe what I am holding in my hands is it, all there is for me to receive in this life. That's the worlds version However Jesus gives me...

Goliath....   A Philistine giant who stood over nine feet tall, wearing full armor and came every day for forty days, mocking and challenging the Israelite's to fight.  His stature was massive with a physical strength no man could match. He put such a vast fear into the army of Israel and King Saul no one was willing to confront him, until David, a boy after God's own heart, stood to face this giant with the colossal power of God standing with him. Some may ask how does a sling and a stone become such a victorious weapon of war? My answer...... It was the trust and faith in God alone that gave David and his sling and stone such a victory. All though I may not actually face a nine foot giant in life, I do however have had my own Goliath's to encounter. And the one over the last few years has refused to fall........... Just when I think peace has finally found it's place in my life, this giant surfaces with its mocking and taunting war cry, challenging me to...

Life can be wonderfully messy, overwhelmingly challenging and unpredictably joyous.  It can knock the breath out of us when we least expect it and it can raise us up to the highest of highs.  After all that is life right?  A life long journey of valleys and mountain tops.  It is easy to be thankful and see our blessings when life is all peachy;When the sun is continuously shining and joy is blissfully raining in abundance.  It is when the crazy messiness , the over whelming stress , the unpredictability of  what is looming on the horizon and fear of the unknown that can leave a person blinded to see past the trials and tribulations and recognize the blessing in the midst.  There is always blessings in the breaking, we just have to be willing to see them . Many times in my life my blessings have been disguised by my trials, however my daddy God has never proven to fail me, for in the end of my trial I saw my blessing. James 1:...

I always try to do my best to write from a place of encouragement; a place of my own struggles and His victory over my life. In the smallest of life's daily mundane trials, on my biggest 'blah" moments and even when the state of my heart is not where it needs to be, I want to encourage. The last few months is seems I  have been trying to encourage myself a little more than the norm? Reminding myself to push to keep going, to not give up, to stand and not lay down. The struggle has been real on all accounts with my emotions all over the place. My internal mood swings have caused me to give myself emotional whiplash. I feel like I have been thrown into a lions den of emotions. Through much prayer and seeking my daddy God for direction I am brought to the book of Daniel. Now I realize my circumstances are different from those of Daniel when he was thrown into the lions den. I have not been falsely accused of wrong doing, nor breaking any law...

One step forward....Two steps back.  I have heard that saying my entire life.  I have listened to the cries of many stating "Why is it every time I take a step forward, I am having to take two steps back?" The two steps back may appear to be a negative. A struggle to regain balance in a world that is unbalanced. A punishment of sorts for choices made or not made.  A unfair act that leaves us in a state of shock.  Emotions that has us tumbling out of our comfort zone.  And the feeling our progression in life has stopped cold in its tracks.  I  have asked many a night the same questions. Wondering what exactly had I done wrong.  Or what I could have done different.  I had not taken the time to see why I was having to take two steps back.  Honestly I did not even want to know the why.  I just wanted to move forward with no regard of the possible outcome. I was relying on my own efforts.  Tr...

Ouch........... I have had words spit from my mouth that tasted like vinegar. I have said things out of anger..... Reacting to the actions of others...... Allowed my emotions to overtake my common sense.... And spewed and spitted words before tasting them.  Can you say anger management?? And that is exactly what my daddy God did. He put me through His anger management program. Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is patient has great understanding,      but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. I was not expecting the process he had chosen for me..... I wasn't aware of how difficult it would be..... Nor did I realize the steps He would have me take.   Instead of allowing me to get my point across, to say what was on my mind..... Share my heart.... My hurt... And my disappointment.... He had me sit still. He had me say nothing at all. I was told to zip my lips and hush my mouth!! I was frustrated..... Irritated.... And angry ...