I am so excited to have Lyn Livingston guest post today. Her love for God and all his children is beautiful and her words of truth reflect her heart felt love. Please join me and welcome Lyn to She Stands. !! I know she will bless you as she has blessed me!!
I felt my heart break in half. A wrenching tearing pain signifying a part of me was no longer there. I felt hot tears burning my eyes and rolling down my cheek. How did this happen? How could I have lost a friend just like that and not understand why?
Laying the phone down, I held my face in shaking hands, crying out to God between sobs. “Oh Father, Help me.” I cried. “Help me give grace & mercy, help me understand. If I have done something wrong show me so I can ask for forgiveness. Father I need you.”
When rejection becomes personal it develops into a relentless searing sting unlike any other.
I will be honest, my first reaction was “What! How dare she? After all I did for her and now she is doing this to me.”
Before I could say the words out loud I caught myself. I have a choice how I react. I choose to go to my Heavenly Father first. I prayed. Jesus gave me a plan. I pursued a new way to stop the sting.
First, I presented my pain to God asking for forgiveness and understanding. Had I sinned unknowingly against my friend?
I recognized I needed to pray intently to gain understanding.
The small voice within told me to give grace and mercy in order to understand.
When my mind stopped focusing on my hurt my heart started focusing on compassion.
I knew that my friend was overwhelmed. Her father was in declining health and now on Hospice. She was consumed with the demands her husband’s recovery from major surgery and double duty in their home caused. The decline in the oil industry had affected her employer and she was now fearful of losing her job. Each could be overwhelming, together equaled devastation.
Even though I was supporting her with acts of love, and listening, her frustration at a misunderstood communication triggered her anger. She was not open to an apology and I was unable to give her what she needed the most. Trust in our Lord.
I began praying for her daily with intent purpose. I prayed with a grateful heart, praising Him for what he was accomplishing in her life and His faithfulness, asking Him for specific healing for her stress and that her heart would be open to forgiveness.
Two weeks later her family asked. “Is there anything you can do?” I learned she was pushing others out of her life too, refused to attend church and seemed angry at everyone.
“I am praying for her.” I said with urgency. At this point the battle wasn’t mine. Consumed with anger and frustration she was trying to balance a life where she had no control. Her attitude demonstrated a lack of trust, a need to dictate. I knew she would not listen. I had been in those shoes too.
My friend had dismissed our friendship, eliminated God from her life, and displays anger instead of love. I know this is not her. The only thing I can do is pray, give grace and mercy and wait with hope in my heart. I fought my feelings of not being enough knowing God is. I miss my friend.
So let us step boldly to the throne of grace, where we can find mercy and grace to help when we need it the most. Hebrews 4:16 (Voice)
I continue to pray concentrating on truth. Knowing Satan is using this opportunity to slaughter her identity in Christ and rob her peace. I praise God for how He is working on her behalf. I know she will succeed.
I give grace. Grace being the instantaneous forgiveness God gives with abundant love. Grace, created in the blood of Jesus in the ultimate sacrifice for our salvation. By giving grace I am able to keep the sting of rejection away and focus on showing love following Jesus’ example.
I give mercy. Mercy, the compassion and empathy of understanding her torment. I experienced my own battles with Satan’s malicious resolve. I know how hard this battle is. Mercy directs my prayers towards her needs, giving her strength and wisdom so she can begin to feel hope and love again.
Now, I wait with hope. Hope she will return first to God and then to our friendship. I wait knowing prayer, grace and mercy are enough. I am ready to act whenever I get the call to hold and support my friend again.
Let’s Pray. Heavenly Father in our time of need help us to give grace and mercy, depending on you for understanding. When all we are able to do is extend grace and mercy, may we feel we are enough, knowing that through grace we honor Christ Jesus. Through mercy we find compassion to love abundantly following the example of Jesus. Be with us in our time of need renewing the spirit within us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen
Lyn Livingston can found at http://www.hisperfecttiming.com/blog/
"I look forward to sharing with you my journey and my insights. I discovered so many things about my Heavenly Father. He has always been faithful to me. Yes, even when I wasn’t faithful to Him."