Skip to main content

The Bellowing Cry of Silence








This unfiltered silence of the unknown has taken on a bellowing cry of its own. The unanswered questions in my mind have become a kaleidoscope.  

And with each turn, the different shades of gray have no answers.  My flesh, in its uncomfortable state of the untold, seeps tears of its own. 

All the while my heart and soul is trusting the Lord on a whole new level  in this new normal we are living.



I must admit, when this plague surfaced its ghastly head, I started this journey strong. The unknown had no hold on me. 

Porch sitting became my place of solace.  No fear.  No tears.  My sword raised high, the battle began. I dove

head first into the word of my Jesus. I soaked in sermon after sermon. I sang my songs of worship from the

noiseless perch of my porch: off key.  And I listened for the voice, the only voice, who could give me solid peace.


 Jesus.


Day after day, the moment my eyes would open, I took the new familiar steps from my bed to my coffee pot. 

And then to my newest Jesus spot for our morning conversation.  Fifty plus days later and my sword looks to have dropped

a few inches. In the heaviness of circumstances surrounding us all, my thoughts are all over the place.  I have 

my moments when I simply can not string my words together.  And my prayers have declined to one word......


        Jesus. 


No comprehendible phrases can my mouth complete. "Is this what battle weary feels like?" I whisper to my Jesus.  

And the turning of the kaleidoscope has become mute. I allow my mind to drift back to when Moses became weary and his arms were held up during battle. 

My request is a murmur.. " hold my arms up just a bit longer, please."  Tears form and fall. 

My soul tenderly leans into my spirit listening for anything other than the bellowing cry of silence. 

" It did not take this long for Jericho to fall."  I tell myself.  My spiritual feet in their callous filled dusty appearance scream for a reprieve. 

I continue to walk. 

The silence is deafening. 


I am not okay with the uncertainty. I am not okay with the unknown of what the future normal will be. I am not okay with the uncomfortable

heaviness that has overtaken wedges of my daily life. I am not okay with this strange cry of silence. And that's okay. 

It's okay to not be okay. 

There is no shame in uncertainty. 

There is no shame in the unknown. 

There is no shame in weariness. 

But there is hope. 


Psalm 130:5 
I wait for the Lord, my souls waits, 
And in His word I do hope. 


Hope is what gives the bellowing cry of silence a voice.  It renounces those things wanting to undo what has already been done. 

It declares victory before the shofar horn is heard in the distance.  It holds fatiguing arms up in battle. It renews the bottoms of dusty calloused marching feet. 

Hope is not merely a desire or wishful thinking.  Hope is a confident expectation that a change will take place; something will happen. 

Hope is the anchoring voice in the bellowing cry of silence. 


As my soul continues to lean into my spirit, I will press into the bellowing cry of silence; trusting.

I will praise my Jesus. 

More.  And.  More.  




Psalm 71:14
As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. 








































Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Your Sweet Comments Are Loved~

Popular posts from this blog

Her Son.....Our Saviour

This is a post I wrote 4 years ago  (4/8/12) on  "Shakin' the Foundation" blog site. I share it every Easter. I pray it ministers to your hearts.  **************************************************************************** As Easter approaches, I have been thinking alot about Jesus' time here on earth. We have all heard of his birth,his teachings,his signs,wonders and miracles. For the most part, we have been taught his life story from those who had the honor of walking daily with him, from those who witnessed every aspect of his life here. However today I am seeing his life through a mother's eyes....... Mary's eyes.....  As a mom myself, I can feel her joy when she looked into the eyes of her precious son. The miracle that she had been chosen to give birth to. That sweet precious baby boy that sometimes would fall down while playing, the one that cried out to her to pick him up..... Can you imagine looking into those beautiful eyes knowing wh
15 comments
Read more

Sifting Before the Shifting

I have been hearing the Lord say " shift" for the last year.  Shift in the atmosphere, shift in our nation, shift in the church, and a shift in me.  When I think about the word shift, I see a grand swope of the hand of God moving all into a direction of peace and wholeness.I believe without a doubt He is doing so, however I never once entertained the though He'd have to do some sifting.... sifting in me. Sifting is a process, a two part process, when sifting wheat. First comes the threshing, the beating of the grain using a flail. Second part is the winnowing, throwing the mixture in the air allowing the wind to blow away the lighter chaffs and the heavier grains to fall back down for recovery.  I take a closer look at this process and begin to meditate on how it applies to my life. The threshing  is the process of removal; removing those things which will cause me to stumble.When God begins to remove, He does so with the intent of replacing; replacing with those
3 comments
Read more

Getting My Hinds Feet

Several months ago I received a word from my daddy God telling me He was giving me hinds feet! I became so excited and thrilled not realizing what I was to go through to receive these promised hinds feet. In my mind, I saw it happening all at once.... No more would I struggle to get to the places I was called to go.... I would go leaping and bounding across all the boulders in my path.... There would no longer be traps and snares in my path.... I was climbing my mountain with my new hinds feet!!! But wait....... I now face more trials..... Heavier loads..... More stress..... More obstacles..... Loneliness that is unexplainable..... I look down and I do not see "hinds feet". I see crippled, hurting feet. ~sigh~ I do not understand.... I can't comprehend this journey.... I was promised hinds feet and I now appear to be stumbling my way over these now larger boulders in my path. I want my promised "hinds feet"......
14 comments
Read more