Photo Credit: Paul Dufour
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
He did not leave me as a child, a wandering teenager or a confused young adult. Nor has He left me now, this grown woman, who is at the beginning of the second chapter of my life. I define my "second chapter" as a life with children grown and gone; each are building families of their own and are blessing me with grandchildren. My love for them all is unexplainable.
One would think this would be a breezy season. My time has become my own once again and yet I struggle to decipher which direction to take. It all boils down to the wrestling of my hearts emotions. I want to do His biding, to go where He says go, to do as He says do. I also want to be as close as I can be to my grandchildren. I want to be at every sporting event, Friday night sleep overs, and impromptu dinners. I want to be that grandmother. And though my words are contradicting , I want to be all my daddy God created me to be. My struggle is real.
My thoughts take me back to scripture.
And another also said, "Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house."
I feel like this man. "Lord let me first witness all in the lives of my grandchildren before you send me." The truth of it all, I want to do both. And so here I am asking my daddy God to send me and yet I am holding on to the strings of my hearts emotions. And it's not only my grandchildren. I want to be close to my all my family.Time with those you love is something that can never be replaced. This tug-a-war is a battle I never saw coming.
Yesterday morning as my alarm began to blare in the early shadows of light, I asked my daddy God for my daily bread; a word to feed my spirit as I start my day. Before my eyes were even open I heard two words ..... "Fall fresh" A fresh anointing, a fresh vision, a fresh heart; these are the things I pray for. And then as I unfold the pages of my bible, my eyes are drawn to these words.....
Psalm 51: 10
Create in me a clean heart O God, And a renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous spirit.
I am forever a work in progress and more than grateful He continues to do a work in me. Today I purpose to see the greatness of Him in my life and trust the path He has for me.
My Walk....His Calling.
Forever His Daughter,