Skip to main content

Sometimes the Best Answer is a Four Letter Word – by Brenda Yoder

I spent three years in grad school learning multiple theories on personality, development, and how do conduct talk therapy. Thousands of hours from work experience has taught me sometimes the best answer for life's problems is a four-letter word .
Bob Newhart puts it humorously in his Mad TV episode:
[youtube=http://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw]
Stop. It.

In case you think I'm a heartless counselor, I should preface that my comments are personal lessons I've learned also as a teacher, parent, and recovered bulimic/anorexic.  There are some situations where the best answer in  changing behavior it to simply STOP.  The other word for it is one that's missing from today's vernacular: self-control.
Are there areas in your life that need self-control?  Are there areas where the first step in change lies in "stopping the behavior," even just once?
I know of which I speak. There have been more areas than just eating that have been out of balance in my life. As God has worked through each one, from distorted thinking to anger and others, there comes a point where you have to ask yourself,
"If I want to get over this, what behavior do I need to stop?"
Then you need to take the first step and stop the behavior.
It's as difficult and simple as that.
For years I binged and purged.
For years I responded in anger.
For years I believed the self-loathing lies that lived in my head.
For years I allowed other people's approval to define me.
For each of these, I needed to stop {it}.
I needed to stop eating past the point I knew I was "too much."
I needed to stop fighting, to have the last word, to hold onto my rights.
I needed to stop looking at my insecurities and weaknesses. 
I needed to stop living in fear of what others thought of me.
*********
There's a rock on a shelf in our house that is from the walk I was on in when I decided I had to stop fighting with my husband in order for our marriage to be at peace.
There's a verse in the bible, I Corinthians 10:13, that I had to believe God meant when I needed to withstand temptation to purge every time I ate.
There's a shelf in my basement full of books I used to teach with that I had to retire when I left a demanding profession because my child needed a stress-free mom to help them through their own struggles.
There's a note in my cupboard from someone who believed in me and who saw things about myself I couldn't see.






There's a moment for each of us where God draws the line in the sand and says, "What will you do? Continue in your behavior or change what only you can change?
***********
There's a moment for each of us where we become aware of what is right and wrong in a situation. The line drawn is different for each of us. In each instance, it's a moment where we realize how we've been functioning isn't working for us {as Dr. Phil would say}.
We need to exert self-control in the situation and just. stop. it.
The only person we can ever change is our-self.  The only behavior we can ever change is ours. The only person we can ever stop is us.
Are there areas in your life where you need to stop behavior or thinking?  It's never comfortable or easy.  Sometimes the first step to victorious and healthy living is to simply stop {one time, a second time, and a third and more} until the behavior diminishes.
Are you ready to do that?  You won't be able to do it in five-minutes like Bob Newhart suggests.  But trying it just once may be worth a shot.
Will you join me?
 

Comments

  1. Wonderful post my friend!!! And yes I will join you!!!! Thank you for sharing!!!'

    Love to you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Stacey! You have done some amazing works of faith and courage in your life. So inspiring! I will do my best to join you, knowing that I won't be perfect, but I'll be perfect in the trying :)

    Peace in Christ,
    Ceil

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Your Sweet Comments Are Loved~

Popular posts from this blog

Fresh Bread

Photo Credit: Clem Onojeghuo
Give us this day our daily bread.......  The smell of fresh baked bread never fails to have my mouth watering and my nose on high alert, not to mention the warm savory taste each bite brings with melted butter dripping over and drizzling down my finger tips. To say I love fresh bread is an understatement at the very least. Bread that gives me nourishment is not to be wasted, and neither is the spiritual bread my daddy God has for me.

The last week or so, when my alarm starts ringing and before my eyes are open, I ask the Lord to give my daily bread. A fresh word, a warm aroma, and a sweet taste of his bread (word) to begin my day. Now I must be honest and say I am far from a morning person. I am not the "jump out of bed, feet hit the floor running, birds chirping" kinda girl. I am a " hit the snooze button 5 more times, slowly sit up , and pry my eyes open with a crow bar" kinda girl.  And thankfully my daddy God knows this, after all …

When God Says Go, Will You Go?

Photo Credit: Greg Raines
Remembering the story of Jonah , God instructs him to go to the city of Nineveh and preach against it because of all the wickedness there. However Jonah fled from the Lord and ran in the opposite direction. After being thrown into the sea and swallowed by a giant fish for three days, Jonah cries out to the Lord and is then spat up from the belly of the fish to go and do as he was instructed.

Jonah 1:1-3
The word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai saying, : Arise, go to Nineveh the great city and cry against it, for their wickedness has come up before Me." But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. So he went down to Joppa, found a ship which was going to Tarnish, paid the fare and went down into it to with them to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord.

I still have a time wrapping my head around the fact Jonah was in the belly of a fish for three days. I can not fathom the intense grossness of it all. Can you? Had he gon…

His Binding Love Letter

Photo Credit: Joanna Kosihska
Here it is post Valentine's Day and though I am not a huge fan of this particular holiday, I do find a tender sweetness of it's meaning.

Sometimes being single has it's downfalls and holidays are a reminder that I am indeed single. Most of the time I am quite content where I am in my journey of singleness and then there are those times in between when I wonder if I will ever share my life again with a man. I do not ponder on that thought quite often as I know my daddy God has a plan and the right man for me.  This year Valentine's day was odd for me. I was not in a place of sadness nor did I feel sorry for myself. It was not a pity party holiday for me but yet I found myself wanting to hear I am loved. And I believe my daddy God wanted to show me as well. So yesterday as I read many beautiful post from what seemed like tons of flower pictures, and candy filled "I love yous", I secretly asked myself what is my love letter in life…