Skip to main content

Sometimes the Best Answer is a Four Letter Word – by Brenda Yoder

I spent three years in grad school learning multiple theories on personality, development, and how do conduct talk therapy. Thousands of hours from work experience has taught me sometimes the best answer for life's problems is a four-letter word .
Bob Newhart puts it humorously in his Mad TV episode:
[youtube=http://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw]
Stop. It.

In case you think I'm a heartless counselor, I should preface that my comments are personal lessons I've learned also as a teacher, parent, and recovered bulimic/anorexic.  There are some situations where the best answer in  changing behavior it to simply STOP.  The other word for it is one that's missing from today's vernacular: self-control.
Are there areas in your life that need self-control?  Are there areas where the first step in change lies in "stopping the behavior," even just once?
I know of which I speak. There have been more areas than just eating that have been out of balance in my life. As God has worked through each one, from distorted thinking to anger and others, there comes a point where you have to ask yourself,
"If I want to get over this, what behavior do I need to stop?"
Then you need to take the first step and stop the behavior.
It's as difficult and simple as that.
For years I binged and purged.
For years I responded in anger.
For years I believed the self-loathing lies that lived in my head.
For years I allowed other people's approval to define me.
For each of these, I needed to stop {it}.
I needed to stop eating past the point I knew I was "too much."
I needed to stop fighting, to have the last word, to hold onto my rights.
I needed to stop looking at my insecurities and weaknesses. 
I needed to stop living in fear of what others thought of me.
*********
There's a rock on a shelf in our house that is from the walk I was on in when I decided I had to stop fighting with my husband in order for our marriage to be at peace.
There's a verse in the bible, I Corinthians 10:13, that I had to believe God meant when I needed to withstand temptation to purge every time I ate.
There's a shelf in my basement full of books I used to teach with that I had to retire when I left a demanding profession because my child needed a stress-free mom to help them through their own struggles.
There's a note in my cupboard from someone who believed in me and who saw things about myself I couldn't see.






There's a moment for each of us where God draws the line in the sand and says, "What will you do? Continue in your behavior or change what only you can change?
***********
There's a moment for each of us where we become aware of what is right and wrong in a situation. The line drawn is different for each of us. In each instance, it's a moment where we realize how we've been functioning isn't working for us {as Dr. Phil would say}.
We need to exert self-control in the situation and just. stop. it.
The only person we can ever change is our-self.  The only behavior we can ever change is ours. The only person we can ever stop is us.
Are there areas in your life where you need to stop behavior or thinking?  It's never comfortable or easy.  Sometimes the first step to victorious and healthy living is to simply stop {one time, a second time, and a third and more} until the behavior diminishes.
Are you ready to do that?  You won't be able to do it in five-minutes like Bob Newhart suggests.  But trying it just once may be worth a shot.
Will you join me?
 

Comments

  1. Wonderful post my friend!!! And yes I will join you!!!! Thank you for sharing!!!'

    Love to you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Stacey! You have done some amazing works of faith and courage in your life. So inspiring! I will do my best to join you, knowing that I won't be perfect, but I'll be perfect in the trying :)

    Peace in Christ,
    Ceil

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Your Sweet Comments Are Loved~

Popular posts from this blog

When Goliath Refuses To Fall

Goliath....  A Philistine giant who stood over nine feet tall, wearing full armor and came every day for forty days, mocking and challenging the Israelite's to fight. 


His stature was massive with a physical strength no man could match. He put such a vast fear into the army of Israel and King Saul no one was willing to confront him, until David, a boy after God's own heart, stood to face this giant with the colossal power of God standing with him.

Some may ask how does a sling and a stone become such a victorious weapon of war?
My answer...... It was the trust and faith in God alone that gave David and his sling and stone such a victory. All though I may not actually face a nine foot giant in life, I do however have had my own Goliath's to encounter. And the one over the last few years has refused to fall...........

Just when I think peace has finally found it's place in my life, this giant surfaces with its mocking and taunting war cry, challenging me to battle. I ha…

He Did Not Just Wear His Badge.....He Gave His Life.

I don't recall a time in my life where my faith has ever wavered, I trust God. I believe in Him and His promises.   However in the recent events I am finding it's not my lack of  trust that has me on my knees, it's my lack of understanding . The grief that has consumed my community and our nation is smothering the very essence of my heart.
So much death.....
So much violence.....
So much brokenness.....
Division at it's worse.

As a nation we grieved for Dallas and the loss of the fallen officers. Today as a community we grieve for our own. The three hero's, Montrell Jackson, Matthew Gerald and Brad Garafola, who lost their lives in a purposely orchestrated attack. A senseless act which has now placed Baton Rouge on the map of sorrow with others across the US. And one question that screams at us all............
WHY?

I do not have the answer nor will I pretend to.  I wish I did. I pray my words of comfort do not sound  cliche' or hollow. I pray the words from …

Digging Up A Bitter Root

Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."  (NIV)
" Many times bitterness is the result of unresolved anger; anger with ourselves or with others. . Anger that is not dealt with can easily become a dangerous bitter root in our hearts......"
(Click here for more on overcoming bitterness)  My mom has told me time and time again, " Stacey you forgive so easily, that's just who you are." Truth be told, I do forgive fairly easy; I have my moment , express my emotions, shed any needed tears, and move on. Am I perfect? Not hardly. Some situations and circumstances in my life have had me not wanting to forgive, and secretly hoping for God to smite them. Harsh? Yes I know." Lord forgive me."  However over the years I have purposed to do my best to see others with the eyes of my daddy God in spite of my hurting heart. And  there are times, regardless of my hearts desire to forgive, my best will have…