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Not This Road Again?!?!


I don't know  the exact thing that has me so emotional today.....
Wait....... that statement is not completely accurate.
I know what is weighing heavy on my heart......
For me to speak it out loud sounds so selfish.....
So self absorbed.
But speak it I do. 
~sigh~

"Why Lord?" I ask.....
Why this road????
I am tired Jesus, tired of having to be strong....
Tired of having to be two .......
Tired of picking up the pieces.......
I am just so tired, and I don't want to do this anymore. 

My question of cries continue......
None of this was my choice, so why am I the one having to ride this roller coaster of emotions??
"This is not what I wanted"... I scream on the inside.
I worked so hard to NOT have this happen.....
I did so many things opposite for circumstances and situations to be different. 
Why Lord?? Why??
I am just so tired...............



At this moment, the statement " And this too shall pass" seems to be an eternity.
~sheesh~

"Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest......"
I brush these words spoken off and continue my rant.
"My yoke is easy and my burden is light"
Yeah yeah yeah, I know but Lord this not what I want!!

The words my daddy God spoken to me are not heeded. I am too wrapped up in my own emotions. 
Self absorbed??
Maybe..........
The complete honesty of it all, it's fear,weariness, along with some anger. 
All the ups and downs, twist and turns of this road I am on that has me wanting to jump off and run.
 I have already lived this road once......
Everything inside me screams, NOOOOOOO!
I just can't do this Lord.................

Then the words I hear in my heart.....
" Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. " (Isaiah 41:10)

He is giving me the strength I need.....
The courage to continue............
The peace to complete it..........
The joy to overcome .............
And the love to endure.

"The road you once walked is not in vain, everything you learned will now be used to walk them through.........Walk it in love daughter." 
"Trust in Me"  

I am so thankful He never leaves me where I am....
I am most grateful he continues to teach me.....
I am forever seeking him.

Walking this road (again) is not an option, it's part of the journey....
My journey. 

Man plans, but God prevails.


Xoxox
Stacey


Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. 
                                                            
                                                    



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