I can't catch my breath. My heart is pounding in my chest and my knees are buckling...... "Please Lord, pleaseeee Lord"...... I am now begging him. Sitting on my bedroom floor, rocking back and forth........... My sobs are uncontrolled and my tears will not stop. I do not understand how or why I am having to go through this heart ache...... This unbearable,gut wrenching heartache. My days are now filled with work, that I can't seem to focus on, my daughter's sporting events and then home to lock myself away in my bed room to shed the huge amount of tears that have been building all day. I tell myself over and over...... This is not happening again, it can't be.... It just can't! But it is and the reality has set in and I am now going through a divorce...... Again................. Looking in the mirror I can see a huge "D" painted on my chest. Across my forehead are words running like a ticker tape......