She Stands

      As a child and even a young adult storms scared me.... It was a eerie type of fear.... A fear that held me captive in my entire being....... It was the unknown power the storm contained... The destruction that lived within it's wall of fiery. I couldn't see past the darkness of the clouds nor could I cling to the  knowledge that the sunshine resided right behind them. As a child my hiding place from a storm was hiding deep within the covers of my bed. As a young adult and married, I would bury my face in my husband's back, wrapping my arms around him tightly with eyes closed so hard one would think my eyeballs had vanished. How many times do we allow the storms in life to consume us? To paralyze us with fear? To hold us hostage with in our own minds? To keep us captive in the confounds of the unknown? Life storms come in many forms. From our finances, to mishaps with our children, to relationships destroyed or an illness that robs us of any

      Another birthday is upon me...... Another year older..... A few more gray hairs growing...... ( Nothing a box of color can't fix) Maybe even a few more wrinkles crowning my face. ( Extra face cream to the rescue)   It's been 5 years since my daddy God moved me back to my home state and town.... In these 5 years I've had changes within myself..... Healing, restoration, deliverance and much growth. Looking back over the last 5 years, much has changed in my life..... Changes for the good in me..... For those I am most thankful. I do however have areas in my life that to me seem stagnant.... No change.... Just sitting..... Still waiting.... I tell myself, my time is not God's time and his time is always the right time.... I tell myself He is setting the stage for me... He is preparing me for all He has for me. And then I hear my clock ticking reminding me I will be a year older...... My flesh mocks me.... My mind taunts me...

    Years ago I asked the Lord to use me as an instrument of His love. My heart was so full my only desire was to let it spill over in the lives of those who starved to be loved, those who have never had someone love them unconditionally.  I never in my wildest imagination realized there would be times when loving others could be so hard.   Hard when I watch others sit in the misery of their circumstances..... Hard when I hear their words of self pity and constant negativity..... Hard when I see them push away every good thing our daddy God is putting in their path to help them overcome. Hard when I witness their defeat in life by their own choosing. Hard when I see them turn a deaf ear towards words of encouragement ..... Hard when they choose to live in past hurts and pain instead of healing and grace.... Hard when they deny the love of their daddy God.   My heart just breaks a thousand times over for them.... Sometimes the pain I feel is excruciatin