She Stands

"Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness... my God, that is who You are."  Those lyrics depict my life as single mom when my girls where children living at home. I struggled raising my children, and I struggled hard.  Struggling was not a choice I made; it was a reality of a single mom working long hours on low wages.  As very young children I do not believe my girls realized the struggles their mom had, but as teenagers I know the reality was front faced for them both.   Seeing what some of their peers had versus what they may have lacked in material things broke this mama's heart time and time again.   I know material possessions are not the end all be all of life, however for a teenager it can be in their world. And it caused some resentment in my home.  Teenage years are tough. Not only for the parent but for the teenager trying to find their way and their purpose in life. There were times, I believed I had failed my children. And I probably d

The  bible defines darkness as ignorance and light as knowledge. To live in the darkness of the world causes one to live in ignorance, but to live in the light of Christ allows one to live in knowledge. Whatever we give ourselves to, it will give back in the same measure we use. Are you giving in to darkness (ignorance) or surrendering to light (knowledge )?   - Ron Carpenter. I go back to those words again and again. Their resonating sound in my heart causes me to pause as I take in a deep breath and exhale. I can hear the tapping of these words running through my mind. It can be so easy to slip into the world of ignorance, to trust what we choose to believe rather than what we know to be truth. Darkness/ ignorance does not always appear to be what one would call red flags shouting for us to stop. Many times, it appears wrapped in a pretty package clothed in what we believe to be real, and yet the true agenda is hidden behind the false picture painted to lure us in. "Hi

                                                         Photo Credit:  The Chosen    Seeing Jesus in the form of a man has been a life challenge for me. I know he is real. I know he walked on earth as living breathing flesh. But growing up I could never connect to the reality of the flesh side of him. I could not understand how someone I could not tangibly see could really love me.   Until now.... In my 50ish years my journey has led me straight to the face of my Jesus. And my own well of sorts.   Relating to the woman at the well has not only become a reflection of my own brokenness but a source of my healing.  Jesus never intended for what broke me to have a lifetime hold on me. I did that. I was my own judge. And juror.  Daily trials, life's mishaps, broken pieces and my lack of understanding continuously led me to the one face who loves me in spite of myself.   My. Jesus. The weariness of my flesh at times will overtake my thoughts in the attempt of removing any presence of H

                                                                    Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash Some days, I can feel the words in me swirling like a small tornado. On other days, words are hard to find. But. Today. There is no rhythm or reason to the words in my spirit. They swirl with their own life, waiting to be introduced to the world. There is no one story in particular only words that are bursting to be written. Today, I will write. From a place that has stained my heart with tears... From a place that has brought unexplained joy to my soul... From all that has moved me into a grace that can only be from Jesus himself. Never mind if the tale of my words jumps from one universe to another, if they intertwine as unmatched threads having no connection whatsoever. Just write. Write those things that others can bury within and have them for a rainy day. Write those things which others can glean nuggets of wisdom on days when wisdom seems to be hidden. Write those things

Deuteronomy 14:2 (NIV) For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Out of the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession.  Treasured possession...….. ~sigh~ There have been too many times in my life where I  never saw myself as a treasured possession; someone of worth. I could be standing in a room full of people, huge smile on my face, laughter echoing with a boisterous sound of a sonic boom and yet I felt so alone. Out of place. Misplaced. I never really understood how a social butterfly such as myself could feel so detached from the world around me. But disjointed I was.   I was able to force myself into fitting in; merging with the crowd. And going with the flow. It was never just one crowd. I was a chameleon of sorts.   Changing my colors to blend with my surroundings. Always looking the part in words and action, but never understanding why I could never change the bellowing emotions on the inside forcibly stati

Photo by Boba Jovanovic on Unsplash T his unfiltered silence of the unknown has taken on a bellowing cry of its own. The unanswered questions in my mind have become a kaleidoscope.   And with each turn, the different shades of gray have no answers.  My flesh, in its uncomfortable state of the untold, seeps tears of its own.  A ll the while my heart and soul is trusting the Lord on a whole new level  in this new normal we are living. I must admit, when this plague surfaced its ghastly head, I started this journey strong. The unknown had no hold on me.  Porch sitting became my place of solace.  No fear.  No tears.  My sword raised high, the battle began. I dove head first into the word of my Jesus. I soaked in sermon after sermon. I sang my songs of worship from the noiseless perch of my porch: off key.  And I listened for the voice, the only voice, who could give me solid peace.   Jesus. Day after day, the moment my eyes would open, I took the new fa